A hustler's guide to Cannes
by Marc Gilliam

It's not a good idea to do business with a hangover...

As the red carpet is rolled away and another watering hole for celebritychasing paparazzi is sought, the media circus that was The Cannes Film Festival has left town for another year. I'm left nursing a hangover, a fistful of business contacts and a stream of blurred memories as my lasting souvenir of Cannes, but as the mind clears, and the real work begins, I ponder on the journey to what is considered a Mecca for anyone serious about the film business.
In retrospect and preparation for next year's festival, I thought I'd share the experience and write my own 'Hustlers Guide' to Cannes 2001. Getting there is no easy feat especially on a tight budget. I got a discount flight with Easyjet to Nice; the first or last departure from Luton Airport is great for saving a few pounds but remember there's no connecting train to Cannes from Nice Airport after midnight.
Best to book accommodation really early if you can, the more of you the better. Instead of a cramped hotel room in town, consider an apartment with a group of friends. Staying just outside of Cannes is cheaper still, that way you can even hire a car. Loot.com and holidaynet.com have great deals. Buses are rare and driving is not for the faint hearted but, staying outside the flurry of the festival, you get to see and experience a lot more.
Most prefer to attend the festival in the second week, but as a festival virgin, I arrived a few days early to learn the score and find my way around. As Cannes gradually doubles in size, forcing the local dog-loving designer grannies off the street, my first task was to beat the mad rush to register. After finding the Palais des Festivals and remembering a few wise words from friends, my first hurdle was registering late. Although there is a procedure for attending the festival, like everything, nothing is straightforward. This year a business card was not enough. I was told by Unifrance, the agency dealing with my application, that I needed documentation of promotional material or a printed catalogue of films I was representing. The lady at the registration desk was clearly in a bad mood, choosing to deal with people whom she liked the look of it took me four hours to register.
Eventually I set to work. With registration comes a pack of goodies to help you find who's in town. The Cannes Market Guide is a bible, with everything you need to contact all the main players, complete with photos! It's best to work through it and call all relevant people as soon as you can, as their schedules are booked weeks in advance. Visiting relevant stands and pavilions to chase up your call is important too. Remember the Guide only represents a small proportion of companies attending the festival. It's up to you to fish for those illusive contacts and set up meetings.
Armed with a pass for the Festival but with no access to official screenings, I had to find a way to blagg into them. Security is tight at Cannes, but knowing when NOT to speak French can be quite handy. Ignoring rules, like restricted areas, might just get you into one. Pretending to lose your ticket and/or turning on the water works is a good one (suggested for women only - and why not!). It may prompt someone to feel sorry for you; it worked for me, thanks to a wonderfully resilient designer granny, who bullied security to let me in!
Unofficial screenings are easier to attend, and there were loads of films screened at stands and various pavilions. Days are short if you're not up early. An unrelenting cycle of film viewing, sleep deprivation and one too many tequilas, can take its toll; it's easy to see how casualties can occur in the quest to cram it all in - remember to pace yourself! It's not a good idea to do business with a hangover or an empty stomach. With very few cheap eats in Cannes it's easy to go hungry. Stock up at your local hypermarket and bring your packed lunch. Although a growling tummy is a good way to stop you sleeping at screenings, it's not a good way to close a meeting!
For a budget-friendly soiree, the more astute can be found at Le Petit Majestic bar, off Rue d'Antibes. It's the place to mingle and serves as a perfect afterparty hangout until 6am but, if like me you find yourself still networking at 5am, exchanging business cards in the queue for the one overflowing toilet, you may be taking things a bit too far. There's always tomorrow.
In retrospect Cannes was an eyeopener. The bottom line is: everyone is hustling, from rich folk doing business on lavish yachts, to the humble filmmaker parading La Croisette advertising their latest short. As hard as I tried to stop myself from cringing in the face of pretentious business chatter, one can't deny the energy of the place. It may be just the thing to get you out of the office, help recharge that flagging project, fuel that penniless film pitch in the hope of a lucky break. They don't call it the dream factory for nothing, now it's all over, I can catch up on some well deserved sleep!


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